I didn't wanna grow up! I still don't.. And now that I've turned 23 I don't have much choices. But interestingly, my life still appears to be moulded, beaten and bent towards it's subtle nuances, much like childhood. MY PRECIOUS! O yes sire, I do love keeping things simple. But walking on this particular road means a shit-loads of crap being thrown at me. So much for the days, young and honest ;-)
To be fair to this world, I was given enough time. Those were the cooler times, when I could lose my brand new water-bottle first day at school, just bother enough to check out the lost property box.. and never find it, and still not care!
Not caring helped. Now I wonder how those little boys and girls I called friends, don't matter any more, now that they are gone. But some of them had big impacts upon me, the way I faced this challenge called life! I realized this when an old classmate thanked me for supporting him in those days. I didn't ever realize that I was helping, in a way it just felt big to him.
I have my own list. Sometimes I wanted to track them down and thank them for everything. Sometimes I did!
Growing up is hard, and there's a special place for those who can stand by me when I have no clue.. about anything! Apparently there was a Columbus inside each one us. I just wish I could let that little fellow soar free into the seas never explored, and eventually find a piece of land(for the never-growing-up's) and a peace of mind. Even better, because now I know what people I'd want with me on THAT trip. Except the fact, that all of them are gonna think I'm a jerk to be talking of this crap! ;-)
Although there's a big question I'd ask myself, "Why always me?" But I guess that's upon every kid's head.. and soon we ALL figured it out for ourselves, it's because I am freaking SPECIAL!
How I always was that little-guy in the class, with not-a-one-person who did not like me.. How I always managed to impress people around me with absolutely nothing funny in my talks..How that old Canadian lady in 5th grade, would give me star's and good's in creative writing classes - just for writing in my comprehension, that I can smell the samosa's in the canteen, and I can't resist anymore as this class goes on! In 7th grade, another English teacher, a British guy, learnt just enough Hindi to dedicate me the lines, "छोटा वीर, चलाये तीर"!! How my gang would be caught shop-lifting at a store 10kms away from home. How scoring highest marks in a subject after having failed in the previous test meant revenge..it meant smearing shit on that teacher's face..
Times were hard too..I hate how I never got to thank my class teacher in 8th standard.. for saving my year when I had a 40% attendance! More because I'd seen her coming out of Principal's room, crying. Or maybe because I heard that old principal shouting at the sweetest lady on earth..or because I'd changed my school soon after.. or maybe because I learnt that she had passed away due to some illness the very next year...
Anyway, her face is as fresh as her smile, in my memories. And some Thank-You's are best unsaid!
Not caring helped. Now I wonder how those little boys and girls I called friends, don't matter any more, now that they are gone. But some of them had big impacts upon me, the way I faced this challenge called life! I realized this when an old classmate thanked me for supporting him in those days. I didn't ever realize that I was helping, in a way it just felt big to him.
I have my own list. Sometimes I wanted to track them down and thank them for everything. Sometimes I did!
Growing up is hard, and there's a special place for those who can stand by me when I have no clue.. about anything! Apparently there was a Columbus inside each one us. I just wish I could let that little fellow soar free into the seas never explored, and eventually find a piece of land(for the never-growing-up's) and a peace of mind. Even better, because now I know what people I'd want with me on THAT trip. Except the fact, that all of them are gonna think I'm a jerk to be talking of this crap! ;-)
Although there's a big question I'd ask myself, "Why always me?" But I guess that's upon every kid's head.. and soon we ALL figured it out for ourselves, it's because I am freaking SPECIAL!
How I always was that little-guy in the class, with not-a-one-person who did not like me.. How I always managed to impress people around me with absolutely nothing funny in my talks..How that old Canadian lady in 5th grade, would give me star's and good's in creative writing classes - just for writing in my comprehension, that I can smell the samosa's in the canteen, and I can't resist anymore as this class goes on! In 7th grade, another English teacher, a British guy, learnt just enough Hindi to dedicate me the lines, "छोटा वीर, चलाये तीर"!! How my gang would be caught shop-lifting at a store 10kms away from home. How scoring highest marks in a subject after having failed in the previous test meant revenge..it meant smearing shit on that teacher's face..
Times were hard too..I hate how I never got to thank my class teacher in 8th standard.. for saving my year when I had a 40% attendance! More because I'd seen her coming out of Principal's room, crying. Or maybe because I heard that old principal shouting at the sweetest lady on earth..or because I'd changed my school soon after.. or maybe because I learnt that she had passed away due to some illness the very next year...
Anyway, her face is as fresh as her smile, in my memories. And some Thank-You's are best unsaid!
Hah! I miss that. I miss being cool about everything. I miss how everyone around me other than elders, used to be cool about everything. I miss that awkward smile I'd give when I would get caught doing something wrong. I miss the times when friends meant life. I miss when we didn't fear any of us moving away. I miss the times when they won't regret anything I had to say. I miss the part where I didn't miss a thing!
Boy oh boy! I've not given up yet.. Scores level. Although a friend of mine, she thinks that this part of my life is called "growing up"..
Boy oh boy! I've not given up yet.. Scores level. Although a friend of mine, she thinks that this part of my life is called "growing up"..
To be continued..
(much like my struggle!)
♫Forever Young - Joan Baez
♫Forever Young - Joan Baez
