1989

In the early 1980s, when a kid was born, he/she was more than just an angel to the family, a +1 to the feeding and survival expenses in the F'd-up economy that India had, **blimey! Hence there was a considerable amount of planning that was carried out before plunging into any kind of action. Not that these days there is no planning. A week ago my playful friend narrated me his recent encounter with i-pills. As I was sitting there with head-in-hands to what could have been, so much for his skank-iness; he thought he could comfort me by saying "Don't worry, this works. Do baar pehle bhi hua tha na!". You don't say. Although I am known to say things, so I suggested the couple to carry some branded anti-inevitability pills along on their Goa trip this December.

Anyways, being an '89 born I found myself to be one of those special ones who are the pioneers of liberalism. We tasted that awesomeness first! Apparently 1989 borns, in middle class families, were planned to be fitted in tighter financial and social models. Until the reforms of 1991 were brought on. The new wave of Privatization, Liberalization. Opportunities. Voila. It was a "Waah, itna sasta" moment for our parents. Quantity and quality flooding the bazaars of India. Maybe some of us donned imported, multi-colored diapers, or perhaps ate Cerelac. And that gave us some respite, and made us the spoiled-brats that we are today.

Improvement in economic structure led to better social approach. With reference to economy, availability and deflation led to day-to-day convenience. The convenience led to changes in the general mindset. These changes are slowest, as human mind is the most rigid of all elements in his surroundings. Mindset like religious hatrid, castism. With the globalisation came a sense of dwelling together. Additions like cable television meant exposure of a higher order. A petty misconception about superiority in "High Caste" foolhardy's was restrained with opportunity replacing talent over rigidity. Not that we 89s don't have haters amongst us, religion-wise. That is just the impact of higher generations' insecurities and will take time to fade away. But tolerance level has thankfully risen. Casteism, too.We had enough sense in our little heads to know why Phoolan devi existed. Caste-based narcissism also faded away like the Moochh of the 89's daddys. Then again we have "young guns" of India filled still with such sense of fake-pride, thanks to their a**-brained Mommies, but they are negligible. Atleast in social development, negligible, they are. (Oh Yoda!)

In times when a government job over an engineering degree was what our grand-parents could call sublime, especially when the ridiculous(and insensitive) model of marriage was in consideration - an orifice was created which allowed the junta to aspire; freedom to shape a career right to the top. The Corporate Ladder.

Although government-job-theory is deeply ingrained into the minds of the Mummy-type-log, the Generation X, if I go upto my parents and say I want a career in music, in a fairly realistic approach, they will listen. Then, maybe they'll decide to kick some ass or agree to my fine ass-kicking. I explained them my theory of Be passionate, or be practical. It's self-explanatory. Divide everything in your life into two parts, whether you want to be passionate or practical about it. This is no invention, this model exists in every person's life, unless they are too dull to be passionate about anything at all. Example, good people you can trust, you click with - you are passionate about - you call them friends. Assholes on the street - you get practical, get your work done and rocket-speed bye-bye! The next step is to eliminate the involvements(in order to minimize) that are unnecessary, from the practicality list. I mean, Be Practical!

Remember that?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNg-xClEnqM

That brings us to another important postulate about this generation. Free Thinking. With abundance in everything ranging from jobs, motor vehicles to underwears, the society attained the privilege of CHOICE. Choice came as a natural thing to us 89s. This acted as a foundation in our minds to foster freedom of thought. Pioneers yet again.

Everyone had started owning a cable television by then. People were done with watching Ramanand Sagar's Ramayana and B.R. Chopra's Mahabharata by the time we were born. And the likes of Zee TV and STAR TV and MTV kicked at homes after 1992. Although very few 89s I know of have escaped those epics.




1989 - Sachin GOD Tendulkar had played his debut game. Harry Met Sally was released. Meg Ryan, enough said. Sadly, it was in the 1989 season that Liverpool won the last League title. But then hope lives on, just as we do. INS Viraat was still young. Pink Floyd were together. Kurt Cobain was alive. Justin Bieber and the beliebers were not. Oh no, I'm not obsessed with her, I'm just jealous and want publicity. Boo-hoo me, yeah!




** No. NO! I "love" my country. Kind of. I just called stupid a stupid. Although I do sometimes call spade a hukum. No, I'm not calling my country stupid. It's just that other than stupid people we have had some of our economic policies so enthralling that the gap between the rich and the poor, cities and villages widened to horrific extent in India. The villages, majorly relying upon agriculture were left to pester, before the Green Revolution. By then, the cities were filled with underpaid third-tier workers, all migrants - who, to contribute, F'd up the system further with their communist union-giri. And so far I am just started. Phew.

Dreamers

The gyan-preacher within my friend
pops up his beyond his realm,
He asks me, "Are you ever serious,
Do you ever dream?"

"Where's the essence of life
in simple happiness, not keeping goals?"
Goes on- "You don't see the importance -
looking for a purpose, filling up the holes?"

Peace was threatened, alarms struck,
Precaution-first - I slipped down the couch;
Then rising and galloping in the fields of gold -
Dream, did you say? I only know, for me I'd vouch.

No Martin Luther King, but I take my little run
And then off I fly,
Up with the birds,
And paper planes in the golden sky.

And when in Amsterdam I alight,
Join a couple of friends there,
Stuff-green, brown, white; liquid- that too!
Too much Trance to share.

Then I set sail
To the shores of the Beatles-land;
Watch the final game of the already league winners,
Accolades to Stevie-G I send!

Back in my city, without me-
You know how bad the music went
coz I've been kicked out of the band, 
Sree thinks I'm too arrogant.

But what do you know,
Papon says Rahul Ram wants me to join them now;
We conduct our little jamming session
Banao banao and some more banao!

Creation within a creation?
I need a totem to keep track
Even better, I set off towards North-
Himalayas - mind you, to never be back.

God, I stumble upon - a few questions, one long debate
In my candid quest.
Is it your imperfection, or you're just having fun?
Knowing the truth, I put my case to rest.

Civilization needs me I'm told,
So for the greater good
I shed my fantasia-blend repertoire, leave the hills
The juvenile life resting upon leaves, hay and wood.

Civilization? So, after some Bungee jumping in New Zealand
And Vegas for a few stints of poker,
I head to Hollywood to meet Chris Nolan,
Learn more about the drama- the legacy that was Joker!

There I take my chances - the ultimate dream,
To salsa with Jennifer Aniston.
and just as I take my lady's hand, 
That puny friend wakes me up, the dream is done.
Damn.

Phantasmagoria? nah!

"I was the dream weaver but now I'm reborn" - John  Lennon

When The World Ends

Nature is beautiful. Everything around that feels beautiful. My love for the origin, the cradle and the field of action for mankind is honest. And pure. Then again, there's always the dark side of the moon. Afterall, the fact that junta is fascinated by the end of civilization a.k.a 21st December 2012 is not total bullshit. Although logic, sense and rationality deny it. But who'll listen to me? I'm no Hrithik Roshan. Not total bullshit because the judgement day is nearing each day. Just 200 million years away now. O-crap minus one. Day. Already. And that's the nearest possibility of a dozen theories predicted.

Anyway what's funny is funny. A friend's Facebook homepage boasted of a status by his girlfriend, "How many of you believe that the world's gonna end on 21st?". A few graced that post with comments affirming how they believed. One guy went on with the pheko-logy,"Have faith in Nature!". I know, Oh-dear-God! I gave an euphoric expression associated with the words, BITCH, PLEASE! ;-)
Half a dozen people with a total IQ of less than 100, and their beliefs. I could use their beliefs instead of toilet paper and there won't be a scratch of conscience in my clean-wiped behind.

I still hope that the end comes. I am upbeat about it. What's funny is funny. And it's been a rather pathetic year for Manmohan Singh anyway, politics-wise and economy-wise. Months of NCERT Economics book-reading convince me that he won't hesitate in joining hands with the US(it's always them) to invite those alien-ships at the Taj Mahal for a grand, probably human, dinner. I hope those vegan pseudo-intellectuals step up with their firm resolve, then. Er, just saying!

We have less than a month. And Neo should be prepared for the rescue, just in case the world ends. I have a bad habit of getting subjective, something I'm working on these day. So after random blabbering, I'll get to the object of my post, a playlist. When The World Ends. There was a Dave Matthews Band song in The Matrix Reloaded by that title(here), but that's not what we are thinking. The singer is more like a moaning pervert, trying to have sex on his death bed in that song. Here's one kick-ass mini playlist I thought would work for me.

5 FIVE 
Lesiem - Temperantia (Bescheidenheit)
Well, we are going to need a lot violins, awesome(and innovative) percussion and a lot of mysterious synth. So here it is!

4 FOUR
Navras - Juno Reactor/Don Davis
With the obvious Indian connection in this one, need I say this is something ultimate. Music-wise, it adds Flute and Sitar to such conviction. Besides, this comes from the morning prayer we had in the assembly during my middle-school days. Another reason, The Matrix is just awesome. Ask Neo. What do you know, I'll lead us out of this big mayhem? The problem is choice.

From delusion lead me to truth

From darkness lead me to light

From death lead me to immortality.

Let there be peace everywhere.

When the five senses and the mind are still, and reason itself rests in silence, then begins the path supreme. No kidding.

3 THREE
Becoming One Of "The People" / Becoming One With Neytiri - James Horner
Too much of soundtracks? The basic idea of this playlist is to fit background music to life. I know, same thoughts! And movies are the closest escape from reality, offering everything you want. And who better than James Horner to fit in. This track, as the name says, fills the mind with a sense of what's really important in such times, of becoming one of your own, spiritually. The Indian connection, Nature, this movie has everything. Toruk Macto? Yeaahaa, bithes!

2 TWO
Mad World - Michael Andrews/Gary Jules
Donnie Darko classic. Gary Jules won't ever write a better song. If you've watched this movie, you'll feel the obvious connection.. deep enough to give you goosebumps when the Judgement Day arrives. Watch this video, PLEEEAAASSSEE! This song is so intriguing that dumbshit like me has been inspired to add a stanza of his own to these tunes. Very fitting. Thank you, you mad mad world, I'm grateful for my existence along with such music! Phew.

1 ONE
Now We Are Free - Hans Zimmer/Lisa Gerrard
Is there ever a playlist without this? I am stuck ;-) A feeling of inspiration, ecstasy and liberation. On the big day, whether it is about the final resistance with collective strength, the ultimate defeat or the journey to the end, this piece will accompany you till the end! Have I gone nuts? Well, that's pretty usual. And expected.

0 ZERO
Strawberry Swing - Coldplay
Why? Because it is the tradition. I am talking about the ZERO thing. Why Strawberry Swing? That's tradition too. I am a real believer. These tunes calm me down, come what may. Main bhi hoon Nature. What do you know, Strawberry Swing might calm the elements of Nature to give up the destructive instinct. People deserve a chance. What's more important you won't be bothered even if it doesn't work. Because in the end, living is more important.

Now the sky could be blue, I don't mind. Seriously, I don't.

♫ now playing: Indian Ocean - Zindagi Se Darte Ho

2012!

It's midnight. You've been in your bed, sleeping like a log. But the uneasiness inside your tummy makes you jump outta that blanket in that cold, dark night. The toilet door creaks open in the darkness. And as you reach for the light switch, you see your FATE. It's there, standing with a gun. You manage to put a few words together, "Dude, er.. call of nature.. I ..I.."
The one that saw you through your bad and good days - Your faithful SHITTERY yells, "I ain't gonna take this shit anymore!"
O FLUSH! It was always there..Signs.. Nursery rhymes.. "Water water everywhere.." "Little Miss Muffet, sat on a BUCKET..!" Bucket? Holy Cow!
2012 is here!

So this is what JUDGEMENT DAY must be like! The only match I can imagine is when I'm infront of my wardrobe ripping my clothes apart and I shout out loud, "Where's my new underwear..!?" And the question  echoes infinitely in the continuum. The Beatles, they'd warned! Aaargh! #chokedeath.

13.0.0.0.0 -Looks like an IP address, no? Frock! Not for Maya.. And boy, did SRK say MAYA a million time in that sicko movie! Well, don't we have a scare for that number 13! Also, turns out that date is an equivalent of 21.12.2012

I picked up my cellphone, to check the calendar, and bejeezus.. its a FRIDAY!

FRIDAY, and the Mayan 13th. Ah! multiple-scary-geese-bumps!


Whether or not the world will end, its a WIN-WIN situation for some:

The good news is that Neo is up and running. This year is gonna be a lot of FUN! And I don't wanna miss a thing. Ah! I reminded myself of a movie, quite timely - Armageddon! And by the way - 

On that note,

HAPPY NEO YEAR EVERYONE!

TEN dramatic idiosyncrasies of U.N.G.I.N.E.E.R.S

We are incredible.. We can define beauty on a graph-sheet, build a software recreate the Universe, a machine that brings about world peace, and a circuit that replaces Nature! Er..
We do nothing during our 4-year vacation at graduation. Then, we work hard(dude.. seriously!) for that campus placement. We get The Dream Job. Then one day that dream thing turns into a nightmare, water rises upto the neck; and we head towards betterment of the organisational part of the corporate world. We get an MBA - we get The Dream Job-2! Some like myself hear about ROIs and look for an MBA+Dream Job-2 directly. Even then, you'll find us in every freaking job in the world! Best camouflage-ers in the country, WE ARE.
Comparing us to the next big thing post 10+2? We are successful and don't need to lie. We ain't under any "Hippocratic oath"!

Marked with our own individual & specific traits, we usually find a gang of similar people struggling in that some Engineering College. Here's a few common ones, where most of you will connect to atleast one of them!

10. Gyming

A few intelligent boys hit the gym. 2 times a day. 7 days a week. Good... for them:/ Easy to identify though- and not just their not-so-toned muscles. At lunch, all that this kind of a guy will talk is CALORIES. And if he has made some more research, it'll be proteins, vitamins and bla-bla. You, as an impatient listener might never wanna know! Its yummy, you have money. What bigger reason is worth considering?? Having said that, I'm already an idiot by their definition :P

9. Gaming

A guy in his sleep shouts out loud, "Fire in the Hole!". Someone, somewhere in the other part of the hostel goes "Affirmative!". You are not supposed to be scared. These un-earthly words aren't a part of their nightmares! Infact they lead a parallel life to this Engineering-shit, when awake. They GAME. Perhaps, that's the only verb they end up their engineering in. Of course they have a blast(bombs, guns, swords etc) You try to talk to them of adventure, and they'll narrate you how the previous night they freed a princess! If you're lucky-enough you'll meet that one who has a fantasy for the animated-princesses, and vomit next :P
And lest we forget, GO-GO-GO!

8. Wake Up Call

The literal meaning is what we are never struck with. But we do get wake-up-calls on our cellphones. No. Not for lectures :/ Vivas, submissions, Exams! The more important ones.
Who gives that life-saving call, varies with the person-in-sleep. Of course if you have an STD girl-friend, she calls you almost an hour earlier than you EVER could have asked her.. with some emotional melodrama, or while asleep, or hangovers!
For lucky-dogs like me, there always is a friend who has religiously been sleeping at 11 in the night(so he calls it) and waking up at around 6 in the morning. And shitting 15 minutes later. Know what, I often accompany this kinda for a cup of tea in the morning, before going to bed.

7. The Relationship Bug

The STD girl-friend I talked about is the prevalent version of the BUG.When she called you, she just bought some time for the good-lucks, wishes, kisses, i-hate-that-bi*ch, screw-the-moron and oo-YOU're-so RUUDE! chats. For most of those on the other side of this conversation, and very much my protagonist, there are two cases -
Case I : Boy - This piece of rigid humanity usually shies away from his friends to avoid what could turn into a biggest embarrassment of his life. You smell what I'm cooking, don't you!

Case II: Girl - The weirdness is characteristic here; she might be having two of her girl pals listening to what the oOOoo-so-caring and lovely guy is talking to her. And this is not it. Not without mentioning the "awwww..." sound!
mini-PS: When I said oOOoo, the sound has to rise to a higher pitch with O, and fall back to normal with an 'o'. Take note!

6. Bob Marley

This isn't about Music. This ain't about Rastafarianism either. Marijuana? Maybe.. A bunch of guys who have heard the name and think the junkie T-shirts with a Bob Marley print are cool-stuff! And they have a mutual understanding. They never question each other about credible info on this man! All is cool in this part of the world- cool-nuff eh, dude? Oh wait, did I just remind you of the Ernesto 'Che' Guevara's or Kurt Cobain's pseudo-fans? :P
One Love!

5. Hello, this is _____ at your service!

Some of us talk how how drastic it would be to be in a job, the routine life and the working hours! Well, quite contrary, a few others who would love to call it a JOB, work for some extra money.. er, extra on what their parents send them- and for the money they get, they are ready to sacrifice 6 days from their week! Call centres or BPOs(like some may claim, KPOs are different!) are like a new life-line to the hopeless and what-am-I-doing-here lives of these poor souls.
Serves good for booze and more. Though some claim to be doing the same to gain some corporate experience, which certainly they do- the clients from UK have a list of slangs prepared just in case they learn that the caller is from India! :-O Best of luck with that!!

4. Pangaaaa

Though the universities across the country might fail to understand the reasons, but the truth stands, that without a panga in college life, one does not qualify to be an Engineer. Oh, talk of the spirit, the vigour at these times - this is what will make us innovators of the world!
Going a bit deeper.. is actually not an option. Mostly, there are no reasons behind the scene; it's all action! And before you realize, you're into a tussle (for no prize!). Never had a gang, but now suddenly there is a battle for supremacy!
I'd say "You know it only when you've done it"! Also, trust me, first hand knowledge.. even if you are as single-boned or lanky as I am(yeah, I said it :P), and you are in for one, you'll always get that one chance to swing your fist - advice: GO ROCK HARD ON THE JAW! Because you are gonna live with that scar under your eye for a few years anyways :P Atleast, you won't regret those dead cells!

3. Cutting Chai!

Okay, first of all- "cutting-chai" is way too less in quantity for us engineers, or probably anyone with atleast some chillar in his/her pocket. It just sounds cool the way it is said, much like the name of a graffiti magazine ;-) Also, this is not a characteristic of a particular set of people- its universal. Unless you are one of those Coffee-type, who don't like tea. Well, SHUT UP, Bitches! For all the others, it has been the best companion of all times - 3'o clock in the cold-cold night, breakfast, evening break(from doing absolutely nothing), or the morning saviour when you are rushing in to the boring lecture hall, (in rain, hope, despair etc too).
Some of us even love to stare; at the rise-and-fall of the bubbles when being heated right upto the pouring into the cups!
There are sub-classifications within. Like me, for one, can kill for adrak waali chai! And then, Tea goes down awesome with anything right from Marlboro to Four Square. Another class discovered!

2. Know-em-all

Everyone knows this in-true-spirit Ungineer, with vellapanti resulting in him being more popular than The Beatles(damn these controversies!) themselves. I'll emphasize upon the pronoun him as(here comes a fact not much talked about..) girls are already popular in an Engineering college! They are a rare species in this mini-world afterall! Sorry, can't take the hard-earned prize from our type-2 guy! Well, this guy never met a person without a smile, and hand-shake is the next activity he might be doing after every 5 breathe-in's-breathe-out's!(or some statistic..) Sometimes, a great help without even knowing, as what an engineer would call medium for transmission.

1. Music

For much part of their well-engineered lives, they have been dipping into their mp3-players and iPods. Never seen without the headphones, this group has an affinity for stereo-sounds and a dislike for stereo-types. As much as I myself hate to fit in one, I guess somewhere, I-hate-stereotypes are a stereotype! ;-)
We have a an absolute lingo, where we start with A for Aerosmith, B for Bob Dylan, C for Coldplay... and so on! All the conspiracies, controversies and legends are the favorite talk-abouts. Deeply ingrained is the philosophy(as we see it) of the western music culture. The lyrics have an impact more than what any other form of poetry could possibly have. This is what most fail to see, or maybe we see more than there is(I've been told :P).
And okay, before you try to fit in here, let me tell you- we HATE Justin Bieber(fans, especially), or Lady Gaga(as a complete package). So if you are one of them, no Type 1 for you! Infact, we might call your's Muzak. So, STAY AWAY! :-)



I mostly end up with more points than I start with, so if you did not relate to any of those; being a I-know-it-all-genius, or a lick-ass-er, or an arrogant-bastard sorry for ignorance! :/


Last year, when I posted this, I thought it would be kick-ass to continue this TEN affair. I loved it, to be frank! ;-)That's how this one came up.

She's a BITCH!

In some alien world, and the movie-la-la-land ofcourse, they say all men are dogs. And when a girl cheats on a guy, she is a bitch in the latter's words! In this real world, I have heard boys to be uttering a few words in such cases, girls sometimes even more than you'd expect their gentle kind too ;-)


Well, if you sprang up from your chair on reading the title of this post AAND also, started thinking how your girl-friend is a B**CH, well I must say you most certainly are at the wrong place X-( 
Still, does her excessive love annoy you? She's too loud, ain't she? Do you hate it when she acts needy? Do you wanna break-free when you are around her and she won't let you leave? Well, I recently felt every effing bit of these emotions!! But my chivalry challenges me when I try to use such a word("bitch" ofcourse!) for a lady whom I've personally known!(unless, you know..some variant of a sphinx resides in this world). Mister, your thoughts were in your head, don't blame me now! I just quoted them!! Because, the BIG difference is that the protagonist of this story is a bitch.

It started when me and a friend moved into our new apartment this September. It was supposed to be the apartment. We moved in at 1st floor.. a girl in the flat below. And her generosity is how we got SNOWY into our lives. A new-born pup when "she" was brought to live within our building. At first, you don't consider a stray to be quite sharing your space - because they are like everywhere!!! Plus I've never had pets to be able to read their behavior. And I mostly "disliked" dogs.. But soon I realized that she is also one of our neighbors. News, that! :D


Snowy, she(I'd no idea how my roomie discovered this indispensable he/she thing!!) was a little thing that didn't have teeth, and she hadn't barked so far!! - so I was the master! The girl from the ground floor - thats how we mentioned her in the earlier days, me thinks GFG(Ground-Floor-Girl.. hehe) would be easier here - fed her and of-course plenty of other things you have to manage!
One fine day I learnt that GFG was her mother("mumma" to be precise, even if it gives me goosebumps!) Well, atleast that's what I heard. See, this is what happens when you hear a girl and a puppy in-a-heart-to-heart-conversation :P


Dog-behavior, she used to sniff my shoes to start with, and soon started licking too o.O. Human-behavior, I whistled at her sometimes.. :-/ I liked the way a dog can recognize you from a distance.  All good, still!! Until GFG one day moved to somewhere else. I remember going down to her while she was packing to ask if she was taking the dog with her. All I can recall is she narrated a loooonngg story as to why her new landlord won't allow the dog in there, and then the words, "Atleast you people are there naa.. for her!"
"Stop...lady.. right there! What!?"
Perhaps I would have as well said that, but all I could manage was my infamous shying-away-smile with the sound- hmmm. Damn it!

Yeah, that is Snowy, enjoying her share..

From the main-gates of our building to the staircases, it was a rat-race with a puppy chasing a ..well, ME :-/ Noteworthy that she couldn't climb up the staircase because we had a wooden plank(huge enough for a pup) placed at the bottom set of stairs. Yet, more often than not, I had to offer her my shoes which she would- I don't know- what! Sometimes she was even on my jeans- funny thing, initially I used to wash them each time that happened, but soon, accounting to my laziness I emblodened the philosophy of 'That's what denims are for, get them dirty' \m/


A grand method was invented one day, bloody-thank the doughnut I bought on my way back home, one super-fine day! Throw her a piece of it in some other direction, tell her- "You're my bitch" and guess what, she is ;-) And soon this became a trend, as doughnuts got replaced by Parle-G. I used the famous-neverfails-magic We're Students.. please try to understand! line. Budget constraints! We already had a big-big pack of the G for genius biscuits, now we shared it with Snowy!!!

Soon, I could notice what was upon me. The wagging tail was getting swifter by the day! Honestly, I had no plans of taking our relationship any further, BUT - O sweet lord!, how do I explain it to this feminine creature! Next thing I remember, the whining sound at the most awkward hours. I got alert. (link_alert!!) Soon she had learned the art of jumping-over, and the wood-piece on the stairs could no longer keep us apart :-/ 


If there's a whiner at your door, slide out some Parle-Gs - the Mantra.


The rat-race was over by now with some kinda silent MoU between us - I would understand while she silently mauled me :(

There was this creepy affection in her eyes, that would give me goosebumps. Now I knew, how hard it must be to say, "Look, I don't love you the way you love me...." 


Shit! Shit!


No affections for me, please! All I can offer in these times is pity, which I shouldn't. I'm no loner, but I can be unavailable to people(read: humans) I don't wanna be with! And what about all the anti-social crap I usually utter? 


I wasn't sure if this little piece of life was counted in the society. A stray. That's what you are called! Okay... I could relax now! o.O

Turns out time works good upon both humans and dogs alike. Phobia turned into sympathy, and sympathy turned into.. something new. I still don't enjoy the licking, but now there's some difference. Feeding is somehow a routine I don't miss. I'm not sure ppl.. tell me, is this LOVE? O.o 


*takes out a gun and puts in his mouth* ठांय-ठांय-ठांय! :-(


PS- In all honesty, no-offence-to-no-one with that title! And I hope I've made it clear that I won't ever wanna use that word in any "reference"!!!! Losers, Bullshitters, sorry to disappoint you :-/

TEN reasons why I may turn into an ATHEIST

When I entered this world as a new born, it was all setup. People, places, religions, principles etc (etc refer to : bars, discs, strip-clubs, parliament). I started gulping the way an empty glass is filled (knowledge of course, I'm a new-born so far!). No direct experiences though. One day I learnt about the supreme power  that us lesser mortals pray, fear and respect & lie & cheat & even abuse & steal from & collect charity for & NOW even fight wars. And please! God.. if exists, is not your banker. Stop asking him for bungalows and big fat cars.
I followed all my counterparts blindly for a few years. Because I was told HE is perfect. See, if you're from some association for women's rights, neglect the previous line; and please don't jail me. SHE is perfect... too.

Good old days; me(in red) partying with God. Yeah.. we used to have a blast

But years passed, some experiences made my faith shiver. Faith in those who believed in God was gradually dying. The source may be corrupted!  Here's how it happened.


 




TEN


It was a dark night (effects, nights are always dark in this part of the world). I was sitting with my friends in a pub. Watching a football match. New in this arena. Suddenly HE entered. A creature all dressed in blue, fanning himself with what looked like a bundle of Rubles (Russian currency moron!). He booked a table by the name of Billionaire Blue, just beside us.

His eyes ran towards me, And as if his sixth sense realized I was a newbie; he approached towards me. I could see him clearly now, big eyes, chest as big as a SAMSUNG LED TV and the two trophy cases in his hand; of which one seemed untouched. He held his hand towards me to shake. Hands, you naughty naughty boy. Just than a friend of mine, heaved THIS towards me.

I ran out of the place into the dark, windy woods. Chills roller-coastering up and down my spine. I just saw a Chlesea FC fan! These creatures do exist in this universe of the almighty! My faith was badly shaken. This is how it all started.


NINE

India has produced some of the greatest musicians in the world. We have likes of A.R. Rahman in our Music Industry. BUT.. unbelievable - Pritam has fans in India. Trust me he does. And if you don't get the point I've already made, CAUTION! Here's why.

The term Music doesn't have a copyright. Thats how he named his thing Music too.
(Haha. I forgot. Pritam doesn't care about COPYrights)

EIGHT

It turns out me and my friends and my potential friends and my friends from the parallel universe are all GEEKS. We don't Party All Night. Niether do we have liquor flowing all around us. And oh yes.. We all have seen AMERICAN PIE series. O GOD.. if you're there.. you can't do this to me!!
 SEVEN

Talking of GEEKism, this was the reason why I cried alone after a movie, sitting in the wash-room in the multiplex the other day (and oh yes.. the movie was Taare Zameen Par, another reason.. they lifted my life-story!). I've been pretty active on social-networking sites lately. I have all the time in the world. Told you I don't party every day/all night.

I may use the word 'ya' for 'yes' while I talk. Same with 'yo', 'cool' or 'damn'. Words like 'dude' are found in the reputed English dictionaries (and it does not just mean a Camel's dick, so stop forwarding those messages). But there is this class of people who are the trend-setters. They have their own cult. Super-cool guys. Ask them and they'll tell you about " MAH at2de MAH lyf MAH bitch MAH a**hole" Cool ain't this? But how does it matter. I am not one of THEM :( And haven't seen these guys off the Internet either. Where do they live? No one ever figured out. The creator of this life, has been partial, for sure !!



SIX

Talking of social-networking sites, I discovered GOD has a pet name. GAWD. You can stuff as many Ws in there. How unreal. You're nickname is actually longer than your name! Sorry dude, I smell imperfection around you.


FIVE

This one was big. It was about How I met your mother (the SITCOM.. mate, relax!)The times when my faith was getting strong. Reason - Once I saw Barney.. talking to GOD (Its not just colorful, its a LINK moron!). I trusted him. Barney Stinson. Legenn.. wait for it...darryy. I read his blog everyday. The Bro Code - awesome.

But then this Robin thingy!! Barney caught feelings. Doomed. Here's where the faith turned from positive to 0 to negative.

FOUR

Existence of GOD's competitor - sachin_rt ; probably much more dependable.


THREE

 A movie named KITES was released this year. Not the problem. I never saw it. Its music was given by renowned Music Director(citations needed)  Rajesh Roshan. Before the music release, I found an article in Mirror (Not the UK one, not the washroom one either.. it was Pune Mirror) that told a story of how his nephew Hrithik loves Trance, and wanted a track of the same genre to be included in the repertoire. The article further said that Rajesh Roshan has been listening to world's best trance music (thats actually how he creates all his songs). This wasn't the painful part. Disaster struck when I ACTUALLY HEARD THE TRACK CALLED FIRE. 
 

TWO

I saw a video which was something like this.  NOOOO !! Don't click on this one! You'll blame me later on. I'll tell you, its some Justin Bieber guy crying babyy..babyyyy.


ONE
I saw this.

I just love PZ. Though I had never been relishing any thought of this kind... evverr. That doesn't mean I underestimated myself. And cruel world. I mean... Just look at this chhichhoraaa! He got PZ.. I got nuts..

THE END. (We are talking about Faith right now.. so just shut up and read below)


ZERO


Save Tigers, only 1411* left!
(Just added this in case the seasonal I-care-about-this feeling hits back after it boomed in the month of March earlier this year. If it does, this shitty piece might turn out to be the most read one on blogger\m/)

*The number is just symbolic(of the boom I mentioned),it may not be the exact count.


Important : By no means am I making a claim of being an Atheist myself.

PS    - This last image shows renowned Telugu actor Venkatesh, didn't mean to disrespect.
PPS  - No part was intended towards offending any individuals' choices.
PPPS- Clause no. 7 guys, you can take it as an offense though.

Is my LIFE a Fool's Paradise?

This ain't any pretentious thought. I am not a pessimist. Never felt dejected either. Till yesterday I was among the exuberant guys around, enjoying life to the fullest. Loved to hang out with friends, party around, watch movies, etc. Today I saw Inception.

NO! NO! I did understand; what that masterpiece was about; unlike the couple sitting beside me, who disappeared right after the concept of 'TOTEM' was introduced. I loved every part of the movie. This actually was the problem. I was just wondering what was 'my big-thing' in life. An outburst occurred. I can tell you exactly what followed.


Now, we already knew years back that aliens are living amongst us, while Kay and Jay were busy battling the bad-alien-guys out. To add to it, there is a Matrix; possibly. But I dont have a hole above my neck or fore-head. Perhaps THE MATRIX HAS ME. And my name is not Neo either.


Moreover, those four kids trying something called lets-go-to-la-la-land have ended up being Princes and Princesses in the 'alternative universe'. Now they even have a pet lion. Yeah, not exactly a pet, but then I don't even have a DOG :-\ Even more amazing is the possibility of Middle-Earth. There are these rings being exchanged and wars are being fought following that. Well, rings being exchanged on this earth too have lead to life-long wars :P


The world around me is full of mutants; some of those could even stop time. I sometimes cant move a fly sitting on my arm :-/ They have an Xschool somewhere, with a super cool chopper facility. Then this bunch of Heroes are fighting amongst themselves with there powers. Wonder, they could be the same.. or maybe blood-brothers?

And  I never got admission to Hogwarts. That Potter guy-must've been for Reservations: has been the most happening-kid ever since 11 years of age. The wizard world is doing excellent. They even have a video-newspaper. And for-your-kind-information Mr. Shakespeare, witches actually ain't so ugly and "witchy".


All these people I'm told are gifted. Okay! Recently I learnt about vampires and were-wolves co-existing on some part of the earth; Previously, they were trying to abide by the age-old treaty. But now, its all about punks trying to impress a not-so-hot human girl. And the girl, Bella.. she is pretty HUMAN! Even HER life is full of thrills, with blonde blood-sucking vampires after her life.
PS- Even I love winters and rains. Does that help? :-/

Dreams were all I had where it was all under MY control; I often would fly. Some kickass adventures. I was the king here. But now, I can't be sure, whether it's me or someone has planted that freaky dream inside my sub-conscious!

 
The only escape could be hijacked. Back to disappointment. Why in God's name? WHY THE HELL IS MY LIFE SO DAMN UNINTERESTING?? This sucks big time! Thanks to Inception, I still have hope. I think I'll jump from a ten-storeyed building, and check if it's a dream.. in a dream ;-)

Orkut dead? [RIP]

Still in its evolving stages. It seemed this one was to go on. The prodigy that seemed challenging mortality. The youth joined this brigade. The revolution had started..
And then. Something went terribly wrong. Orkut** died.
The best couldn't survive. Speculations were made. Some conspiracies surfaced up. Post-mortem was carried out. And the reports bared it all..
Facebook^^ killed it.

Not by its own hands though. The following of Orkut left it alone. Tempted by FB, as they nicknamed their new friend. The human brain, thinking trends and psychology were deeply examined. And the reports that followed were astonishing. People had changed.

1) Ppl got bored of counting scraps(and comparing) each time they logged in. Moreover it was too social for the 'YO-generation' to go online just to say hi. This Fb dude gave them cool applications or 'apps' as he called it.

2) The public pages, the communities seemed hell too far to reach on a lazy day. And if ever someone posted a topic or a query in a community, it was lost, amidst several others. And whether someone responded was buried history.

3) The slogan of 'Be a FAN to get one' seemed losing power.

4) The 'add to crush list' didn't help either as people prefer keeping crushes to themselves, because they are too large in number to disclose.

5) And the messages led to dilemmas. Whether the beautiful girl telling them that one could 'earn from home' really existed? And did poor XYZ get her operation successful through the 10paise orkut paid her for each forwarded message?
[The latter often led to high blood pressure and heart attacks and thus turned into a nested chain mail]

6) Priests at confession boxes complained about increased number of confessions of having lied in their friend's Testimonial.

7) The acronym LOL had turned from indicating a laugh to a yawn. Urgent need surfaced to allow ppl to remark upon the growing sick sense of online-humor.

8) Yet the freedom of expression was maintained on FB. There was no 'DISLIKE' button, to cause embarrassment, against the 'LIKE' one.

9) FB helped the under-confident through its 'apps'. For instance,
i) The victims of bullies joined Mafia Wars and went all out on their enemies without fear.
ii) The nerdy ones found satisfaction in farming and making neighbors at their sweet town Farmville.
iii) The candy-asses valiantly did go 'blind' and turned prodigal on Poker.
[Also, the "How hot\cool are you?" etc quizzes helped]

10) The gluttons were the first to quit as they hated being told "Orkut has no doughnut for you".


[**Though a clone of Orkut was made with genes of Facebook, and presented as a new version, but in vain. This new fellow had lost all the charm and emotions]

[^^Rumors say that FB has been murdered too. Prime suspect: a guy named Twitter-has various political connections and celeb friends. One of his friends had been heard tweeting: "@twitter that f***book couldnt have survived man! #fb #areyounuts" News to be verified soon.]