Kurt Cobain : The Man Who Sold The World

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

Kurt Cobain. A man whose death said more about him than his birth. When such men are talked about; no date-of-birth's are mentioned. Years they lived need not be counted : this is all irrelevant. To me, he was born the day I read this line in a miscellaneous article; and I linked Cobain's name to his image on a dude's T; and will perhaps live as long as I do.  Needless to say how restless I was reading the quote. I always believed in this thought; but no way a rockstar writes this! That's pretentious, I must've thought then. Not knowing what I was about to discover, for my own good!!

I read a lot about him. Nirvana. Grunge rock. I had heard all his albums in no time. Kurt had been this multi-talented boy good in all forms of art. The style of his death pinched me. But his legend was quick in influence upon me. A guitar in his hand increased my excitement for Guitar and gave me my latest love. John Lennon has been my idol ever since I heard IMAGINE. After having done enough research about this great man, Kurt Cobain was my idol too. And one day I read in an article on the internet :  Cobain called John Lennon his idol. And my joy was beyond expression! I've heard from some that a man who did heroin and perhaps under its effects, shot himself, cannot be an idol to a normal person. If that is so, I don't care what is normal.

In my opinion, every great band in the past had a genius whose intelligence worked magic for them. The soul  of the group's works. For Nirvana, Kurt was the genius. Visibly, many rockers don't know names of the other two members(or others who didn't stay). Nirvana's most successful song was Smells Like Teen Spirit. Another popular song Rape Me's guitar was basically Smells Like Teen Spirit backwards. Cobain thought that if a song was played backwards it would take on a new character.

Cobain's music continually challenged social evils. This song (Rape Me) was from the perspective of a victim replying to a rapist; again the reverse of  Polly which is from the perspective of the rapist, and is based on a true incident. Bob Dylan commented hearing the song, "The kid has a heart".To emphasize on Cobain's intentions; Nirvana played some benefits to help rape victims, including the "Rock Against Rape" concert in 1993, which raised money for a women's self-defense organization.

Clearly stating his sensibility, he was a different human-being. Where the social setup deters Man from going beyond limits, a thinker of Cobain's league is declared abhorrent. He was into heroin. He had been jailed for vandalism. His use of drugs prompts towards an escape that he was seeking. Although, this cannot be justified to moralists, I linked all his life up. The divorce of his parents is said to have an adverse effect on Kurt as a kid. But that wasn't the only problem. I found all answers in his philosophies, his Journals, and his suicide note.

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not"

His suicide note made people reconsider this quote of his.
He wasn't loving the music he had enjoyed all these years. A brainstorm of thoughts; that would kill him each time. Use of heroin was for the escape; he often pointed the dark side of doing drugs. He was too sensitive. He said he hated all humans; felt sorry for them because he loved them too much.

His search for happiness in the same world had lost hope. His work didn't give him anymore pleasure. The reason he said was that I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child. This numbness was all that he was seeking. This links us to another of Nirvana's song Dumb. This song describes the condition of a dumb person; as for some reason he is always happy, no matter what. Kurt Cobain, who had been declared one of the best songwriters, the grunge legend, wasn't happy about any thing. He often related to Buddhism and Jainism, though he was a Christian. And certainly not pretentious. The man couldn't use a shotgun in his mouth if he is faking! His thoughts were beyond our, the lesser mortals' perception. His life wasn't fun to him and :  The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun.

After his death, Nirvana grew in popularity higher than ever before. Kurt Cobain as a dead man, built a larger fan following. A cult rose in his remembrance. Grunge rock started to be considered his genre. Unplugged in New York topped the charts. Some claimed him to be talentless. Suicide was condemned by many. But that man was more than his music, his life, his possessions. His search was for Nirvana. He had no desires. He chose freedom....
And whenever somebody questions his death, the lines he asked the world to remember, mystify my mind..

I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.