To Everything That Goes Wrong

It's just like a scene in the movies where a person is about to fall off a cliff. The mono-act of the protagonist begins when his face expression is emphasised upon, to project his feelings over the melodramatic veneer of the situation. And then, within those instantaneous build-ups, there is the big fall - where the camera rapidly moves in the downward direction and suddenly stops following the protagonist, who sinks into the unknown underneath: leaving a void behind. There is a natural silence. The wind blows stronger, and absence of a subject in that frame is strikingly evident.

It's just like those scenes, except the protagonist is you; and you're sinking off that cliff - but your consciousness does not follow your body. When the moment strikes, the dive has been made but your mind is stuck right there, in that void. There's a zaappp* sound if you're into background music in life, that is followed by the natural silence. And an utter state of confusion that has only one input signal, a single-point of thought : that void. You can feel your non-existence, and while the agony within that single-point thought is incomprehensible, there is a tone of helplessness and lack of control that surrounds it all.

You cannot shut your eyes to it. No limbs to crawl out. You cannot turn your face away from it either. There is no memory and there is no afterthought. No heartbeat to this existence.

A dream that forces me awake on several nights with a fear of being lost, with no clues to decipher.


I draw both my hands close to my face and stare at my palms. How could I be so wrong? About everything in life! Erring. Goofed. Mistaken. Wrong!

To Everything That Goes Wrong,

                                        I have no explanation.

*Auralize the last sound in Gravity Soundtrack 16. Yup! Zaappp!

Eyes

Eyes, they talk.

In a silent moment you share together, a glance.. An eye-contact with an honest soul.. tells more about them than their own words stringed together.. And what you see is a portrait of their innocence.. or perhaps a reflection of your own guilt-less-ness..

As you look for those first signs, you realize.. Eyes, they talk.

Manhood

साइंस-फ़िक्शन

आज हाइपरस्पेस पढ़ते-पढ़ते
एक ख़्याल आया
कि रात होने तो दो
ख़्वाबों की दुनिया में खो कर
नींद में ऐसी करवट लेंगे कि
Fourth डायमेंशन में 90° घूम जाएंगे
और फिर अपनी नाक सिकोड़ कर
मुँह ऐसे पीछे खींच लेंगे
जैसे Y-एक्सिस पर वक़्त
और timeline पर हमारी नाक की लंबान रखी हो

फिर जो ज़ोर से छींकेंगे
कि जिस वक़्त में आँख खोली
वहाँ सब ठीक होगा..
हम इतने गलत नहीं होंगे
शायद नाक भी थोड़ी चपटी होगी
और माइकल जैक्सन का अगला एल्बम..

हाँ भई,  बाकी सब ठीक ही है...


वक़्त की क़ैद में ज़िन्दगी है मगर 
चंद घड़ियाँ यही हैं जो आज़ाद हैं

Ш : Hyperpace - Michio Kaku

Her

Her hair was on her eyes,
Twisted and swirled at fine lengths;
Each time her head would turn,
they'd fit around her shoulders with perfection..

This other kind of perfection..
with no measures, parallels - no absolution.
Every idea, every happenstance
centered around her
reverberated in its own charm,
serendipitously bound in her aura-
catching eyes and melting hearts.

My disillusionment, or..
Her.

Of Everything

Of winds and setting sails
Of faith and holy grails
Of rain and child's play
Of doubts and castles of clay
Of light and the stars that shine
Of love and yearning and hearts that entwine
Of beauty and the spark in the eyes
Of  folk ballads and words of the wise
Of restless feet and the desire to fly
I'm here to talk of everything you ignore
- but cannot deny

To Auroville

From those rigid, box-spring mattresses,
pestering wooden frames
and leaking brick walls of conscience
- I could've been lost here

To a dome of acceptance
Of flawed existence,
And bamboo roofs
And passion -
burning the floor underneath the feet!

I could be lost here.

Revelation

A wanderer into the land of many thoughts,
The trails of foot steps of a nascent civilization.
Hiding in the urban noise elsewhere,
Much like a predator prawling on a confused herd
Or more often a hare slipping into its burrow-
Now roaring into the silent night sky..
Purposeless yet affirmative!

Carter Road - III

The orthodox moon was adamant tonight at losing its identity into the believable, presumptive sea. It gradually crawled its way into the Western skies and modestly sunk its crescence into the unpredictable darkness at the horizon.

The sky was still bright. The stars were making a point. The very core of our existence..

Do people in heaven ever look up and wonder?

Carter Road - II

The enormity of the sea just swallows the reality behind our heads. The escalating sound of the oncoming waves overlapping the chaotic cacophony of the world..

And we find ourselves simply nodding our heads in approval to those winds from the West.

The clouds overhead swiftly moving inward, pass by, as if mocking our static existence.

Then the stars, through the gaps in the sky, dimly twinkle - tantalizing our imagination and heeding our curiosity. These stars thus reaffirm our existence. For we are who we are, in the dreams we paint..

Carter Road - I

..And in that moment, I think maybe.. just maybe there'll be couple of revolting ticks on the clock - a transforming blend, a reaffirming cosmic intervention - revoking the anarchy and chaos in the asymmetric plans these planets and stars had mapped for life.. all that in a couple of seconds..
But the truth is, fate.. does not happen to me. For so I never believed.

Where do I stand? Beleaguered an bewildered in my own little world, shredded down from the corners with my ideals and stubbornness.. frowning upon what is and what should never be..

Meaningless, like everything else.

Things I Don't Understand

I'll sing my song like a rebel wild
For that I am and can't deny
But at least I'll know
Not to hurt
Not to push
Not to ache

And God knows.. not to try

Tamed imperfection, ordinarily. And for all those deductions for the wrong guy, an arrogant nous, a blasphemous pupil, an inconvenient friend, an unfocused psyche. Too many things I don't understand. 

Intriguing, this world.

♫Travis - Why Does It Always Rain On Me