People are strange. Acquaintances are stranger. How random can a cranky head get in a chat-box, is what this breed is unaware of. As Chandler Bing would say, let's not open that door! Everyone has bad days. If they end up with a sucker with the motto "bug them or get bugged" like this one here, there always is a VICTIM in the end! Here I would start with two finest words of wisdom, shit happens!
BUGGER /ˈbʌgə/ an annoyingly awkward thing.
TARGET /ˈtɑːgɪt/ a person, object, or place selected as the aim of an attack.
VICTIM /ˈvɪktɪm/ a person who has come to feel helpless and passive in the face of misfortune or ill-treatment.
Bugger: Hi!
- O is that supposed to be a taunt man? I'm not high anymore. That last drink was 5 hours ago!
Bugger: Hehe! You've changed a lot. I thought you're still the tiny-miny-shy-guy from school! ;-)
- O flashback! >>Nine years later>> Woah, I'm not tiny anymore! And blimey, I don't have my pants on right now! Yeah, bone and skin, that's it. And shy, well, I don't have my pants on now, so yeaaaahaa I AM shy!
Bugger-turned-Target: Ok, you have turned funny and articulate too! :P
- Have I? o_O People usually put in 'gross and whacko' in that last sentence! And I'm not proving my wit, please! I AM without my pants right now!
Target: Hehe! I hope you know the limits where you are supposed to stop, for your own good :D
- Ya, I do. And I'm not lying. I'm sometimes incapable of that. You see, right now I'm in the loo. I prefer my pants off. And my thinking inside the loo has a new dimension altogether!
Target: Thinking inside the loo :P Good going dude. A lot of people get thinking in there!
- By a lot of people do you mean YOU and your imaginary hot friend, Rebecca? Perhaps you're right, it IS common. In fact the rate at which ideas pop-out in my head in this sacred zone, I've JUST realized this - Whenever I want to write a book, I'll go on laxatives!! Kick-ass!
Target: LOL. A book on what? How to act funny?
- Act funny? Nope, that title would belong to Robert Pattinson. I'll go for "Shit In Your Loo - Shapes And Their Meanings".
Target: Now that would be gross :-/ But funny too!
- And revealing! These, mister, are life-changing shapes. Astrology and Shitology, similar sciences!
Target: Haha! So tell me wassup in life? GF?
- Life's at unrest, waiting for the FIFA World Cup, 2014! but er,
>>Gay Freedom? I totally support them. Also tigers, and educating the poor kids, feminists, PETA and Rakhi Sawant.
>>GeForce - A friend told me you had turned a biology geek in 11th grade? You can't know much about processors! I prefer layman's language, so yeah, you're right.. it's a REVOLUTION!
Target: I get a feeling you're trying too hard :-/ I'l have to be careful and specific, Girlfriend?
- Oo okay! Ya. First one, I loved her a lot. She ran away.
Target: O that's sad! If you don't mind me asking, what happened?
- One day we decided to marry. Each other. For a change. So I turned around and farted on her face. And she ran away.
Target: Haha! So nothing happened of this sort ;-) I can't tell the difference when you are kidding and when you are not :P
- You can't tell the difference, so something of this sort may or may not have happened. Equally likely, probability-wise. Thats Mathematics, you see. Well, in my religion there is a custom that when you find that PERFECT someone, this is how you welcome them to the beginning; your new life together.
Target: What sort of sick religion would that be? :D
- Hey, stop JUDGING! Your religion too has customs of dowry, insulting the bride's family and then burning the bride alive etc. But we are all proud our religion, aren't we?
- Target: LOL! That's a thoughtful point! So you have a considerate and sensitive-side, dude! Anyway, so you are married technically :P
- No, I denounced my religion immediately. Conversion. I embraced Narcissism. My own GOD. And then I met another girl.
Lost For Words: Go on! Who can stop you :-/
- She was killed by her father (who's a Principal at a local college; also, looks like Amitabh Bachchan) for loving me. Now, I am learning to play Violin. Soon I'll be kicking cupid's ass in his institute. That's what she always dreamt of. A sugary-filmy-love-story. Since I'm not a vampire, we had to chose this way.
Target: ROFL!!
- Laughing at other's tragedies, that's like ME! Hi, where have you been? And will you stop rolling on the floor already?
Target: Hahahaa, seriously man, laugh at others; I'd never do that! Come on, you never break? That's method! :P
- o_O By the way, getting the drift of where your conversations usually go, you do have a GF as in 'girlfriend'?
Target: Yes. And now don't you make jokes about that please!
- Ofcourse not!
(Too easy that way)
Target: Arre waah! You didn't ;-)
- Yeah, I'm out of the loo now. Just preparing some Lemon Tea. This requires concentration. And I'm a keen Tea/Coffee maker. In fact, I've told my roomies not to buy a Dishwasher or Coffee-maker till I'm alive.
Target: Oookkk
- Ya. And if we humans could be one machine by choice, I would choose a dishwasher. Or I'd rather wish I could be a mutant instead of machines!
Target: Machines and mutants! What are you upto :P
- You might not understand. Okay, here's a little secret. THE MATRIX HAS YOU! And if you wanna know the answers, follow the sewer-line running behind the 52nd Street in New York. It's all America. We Indians have no answers around sewers, pure shittery.
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And, never use Limca in place of lemon. Your lemon tea will taste like carbon :-/ I'll have to throw this away!
Target: DUUUUUDE! You really used LIMCA for the Tea! :-O Are you nuts! Well, get an asylum for yourself :P
- Nuts I have been for a long long time now, my friend! Being so provides you with a shell which dumbo's can't crack, and you are aloof from all that stupidity floating around in this world. This is one of the preachings in my religion. Narcissism, remember!
Target: Narcissism, is that why you have a blog? :P
- Maybe. You too have a facebook account.
Target: They are not the same! :-/
- No. But narcissism, yes.
Target: COME ON! It's just a platform to socialize on, meet friends, have fun!
- But the doctrines of Narcissism totally endorse Facebook. Your Dad gifts you a fat-new-car, you must show off! You enter a night pub your friends are gonna envy, you post your location immediately. And pictures, all of YOU - the very next day. This is all DIVINE. Heaven or Hell is decided by the sacred ratio 'h'-
h = (
Total number of comments recieved in all posts)*(Total number of likes in the profile pictures)^2
Total number of posts liked by the profile
Target: Hahahaa!.. Dude, REALLY? :D
-What is REAL? All that you can taste, smell, touch? Then every dream must be a reality. Even if you wake up and you feel every thing around you is real. Beware, it could be a dream in a dream!
Target: Now you are just going blablaablaa!!!
- Here's a relevant question, about you. You have an album on facebook named "Mah College". Goats? I tell you, Al-Qaeda's men don't treat* goats very modestly these days!
Target-turned-Victim: Now that's insulting! Can't you say anything that's not indirect?
- Sure. I am amazed it took you half an hour to realize this.
Victim: Ok, Dude! I am not going to piss myself up. So goodbye!
- Dude! I wish you had done that when I was in the loo, things would have gone down pretty easy! OR, we could have had a
Pissing Contest!
Victim: Here's my two cents - GO **** YOURSELF!
- I wonder why people keep dropping exactly TWO cents everywhere! Don't you find it interesting? This country has 42% of the population below poverty line. Drop 1 or 2 'rupee' coins instead! Cents they'll just throw away, if they ever pick those up. Or you'll just end up making a few kids believe that collecting currency is their hobby!
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And I am confused. Why 4*s? For me! Woo, I'm declared HIT then. Or did you mean Go
STAR yourself? That's in my religion! Or if you meant
multiply yourself, sorry I don't fall into the amoeba-species, otherwise I would have started cell division right-off to keep your
biological-self happy!
Victim is offline.
- Hey, bye big man.. I love you too! Thanks for the stars!
