Wonder why they called it common cold - because this is a nasal misery too common to the human species, or because more than 100 viruses cause the same kind of symptoms to us homo-sapiens or maybe just to freeze off the panic that the very idea of consulting a physician creates? The last point won't stand for me atleast, it's been 7-8 years I last gave myself THAT torture. Luckily, I never went victim to anything much, not even the epidemic risings like Reality TV or IPL. But this khhhoold, it has consistently struck me atleast once every season, six times a year. I find one self-explanatory theory to the etymology. So bloody common.
There is a characteristic cycle to the patheticness that beckons. Day One strikes with a scratchy feeling down the throat. It's the signal, like, Oh Boy! Day Two, the little viruses party up and down your throat. "Hey, look we are tiny-winy germs..we are here to swell up your throat and make you leak slimy liquids. And even though we have remotely nothing to do with rest of your body in the later days, we give you fever and body pain now!" This day, you keep waiting for that one huge jerk of a sneeze.. but it never happens.
As if people never had a better occasion to annoy you! Come on.. you don't have to watch the full 3 hour TV telecast of a Bollywood award ceremony to come out with a conclusion that IT IS RIGGED! Most of us were at it right before you scratched your ass at the beginning of the show, some 10 years earlier. Every sound of tak-tak-tak or dhumm-dhumm is amplified to quantities you simply cannot agree to believe. Yet those sounds extract your agreement. There's nothing funny in the world anymore. Facebook, oh dear facebook! It's a weekend, and everybody's THERE. Checking-in with "The club can't even handle me right now", and hey look, you're so out of control that you use the club's wifi to update on a social site about how crazy you are, you brain-swallowing monster! Or well, let's share these pics of malnutrition-ed kids because Zuckerberg is fucking nuts. 1 share = 1dollar. Yayy, that's the way I roll, bitches! And then a pic with a sketch of a boy on his knees, crying; a broken heart in the top left corner; 50+ people tagged; and a mourning shayari.. Come on you toote dil ki dastaan! Even we didn't get a Dairy Milk each time I cried my heart out to my father! Only later I had a revelation to stop with all the begging for Dairy Milk. Crackle and Nutties - real stuff! Mazel tov.
Day Three, the morning, I find myself gasping hard for breath. Choke day. And a visit to the wash basin after completion of each sentence. Meh! Haldi waala doodh(with ginger+sugar) and Black pepper in soup are opportunistic Gods. Well, all Gods in all religions are opportunistic, to be honest. How can I forget water boils at 100degrees and that is pure nosef*** with those green liquid pills!
The state is the same, brain does not work; can't read/do anything that makes sense; every nonsense is irresistible. Total garbage, and annoyance. Good for nothing. I did one braveheart thing to go to the movies, and thank the nature for Tarantino! And more; still as I was busy singing "Ghhhirl, you'll be a woman sooon.." there are total midair-mindf*** soundtracks in this one. "Ooo Django! you loved no one.."
I sometimes wonder what is wrong with me. Then I just smile and proudly reach for the toilet paper. Sigh.
Okay, I just lied. No toilet paper. I reach for the jet spray. I swear, I don't know how to use paper in there. Sigh.
There is a characteristic cycle to the patheticness that beckons. Day One strikes with a scratchy feeling down the throat. It's the signal, like, Oh Boy! Day Two, the little viruses party up and down your throat. "Hey, look we are tiny-winy germs..we are here to swell up your throat and make you leak slimy liquids. And even though we have remotely nothing to do with rest of your body in the later days, we give you fever and body pain now!" This day, you keep waiting for that one huge jerk of a sneeze.. but it never happens.
As if people never had a better occasion to annoy you! Come on.. you don't have to watch the full 3 hour TV telecast of a Bollywood award ceremony to come out with a conclusion that IT IS RIGGED! Most of us were at it right before you scratched your ass at the beginning of the show, some 10 years earlier. Every sound of tak-tak-tak or dhumm-dhumm is amplified to quantities you simply cannot agree to believe. Yet those sounds extract your agreement. There's nothing funny in the world anymore. Facebook, oh dear facebook! It's a weekend, and everybody's THERE. Checking-in with "The club can't even handle me right now", and hey look, you're so out of control that you use the club's wifi to update on a social site about how crazy you are, you brain-swallowing monster! Or well, let's share these pics of malnutrition-ed kids because Zuckerberg is fucking nuts. 1 share = 1dollar. Yayy, that's the way I roll, bitches! And then a pic with a sketch of a boy on his knees, crying; a broken heart in the top left corner; 50+ people tagged; and a mourning shayari.. Come on you toote dil ki dastaan! Even we didn't get a Dairy Milk each time I cried my heart out to my father! Only later I had a revelation to stop with all the begging for Dairy Milk. Crackle and Nutties - real stuff! Mazel tov.
Day Three, the morning, I find myself gasping hard for breath. Choke day. And a visit to the wash basin after completion of each sentence. Meh! Haldi waala doodh(with ginger+sugar) and Black pepper in soup are opportunistic Gods. Well, all Gods in all religions are opportunistic, to be honest. How can I forget water boils at 100degrees and that is pure nosef*** with those green liquid pills!
The state is the same, brain does not work; can't read/do anything that makes sense; every nonsense is irresistible. Total garbage, and annoyance. Good for nothing. I did one braveheart thing to go to the movies, and thank the nature for Tarantino! And more; still as I was busy singing "Ghhhirl, you'll be a woman sooon.." there are total midair-mindf*** soundtracks in this one. "Ooo Django! you loved no one.."
I sometimes wonder what is wrong with me. Then I just smile and proudly reach for the toilet paper. Sigh.
Okay, I just lied. No toilet paper. I reach for the jet spray. I swear, I don't know how to use paper in there. Sigh.
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